(Photo Credit: My 8 year old granddaughter!!)
I didn’t love myself for the first fifty-seven years of my life. I thought I did. But I didn’t. Oh yeah, I’m fifty-seven and a half years old as I write this.
Because I didn’t love myself, I also couldn’t feel the love that others had for me. I could love them but I couldn’t ‘feel’ their love for me.
I projected this onto God. God was “enough” for me but when my spiritual director, Barb Wright, asked if I felt that I was ‘enough’ for God, I couldn’t answer.
The cat that strolled into my life a month ago revealed something to me.
Also in this episode: How I had limited my view of God. Maybe you’re doing this too?
Join me in today’s podcast…
Thank you to our sponsor for helping grow this podcast: Ray Boutin and Performance Realty in SE Saskatchewan. Call or text for Ray, Jody, Chad or Tracy at area code (306) 575-8575 or do a search for Ray Boutin at Realtor.ca
One day, Moses asked God what God’s name was. God said, “I Am”.
God never said “I Was” or “I Will be”.
When I lived in the past, which doesn’t actually exist, I lived a life of stress because I kept reliving in the story of abuse. It kept me pinned down. It manifested itself through me as lack of confidence, fear, anger, guilt, loneliness, isolation, self-sabotaging. Even though, on the surface, I was a go-getter, a doer, a people helper, a fun person, living in my abused childhood past absolutely kept me pinned down. I was living the “I Was” experience.
As I lived in the future, which also doesn’t exist, I was seen as a positive visionary always seeing great things for myself and others. In my mind I was successful, on top of the world. However, I came into the awareness that the main reason I kept looking into the future was because I hated who I was in the present. I kept projecting a better future version of me. I was living the “I Will Be” experience.
Both of these kept me pinned down in a life of stress, fear and anxiety.
I have come to know that all you ever have is the present moment. When I learned to accept and live in this present moment I discovered the key that unlocked the inner peace, inner joy, and inner strength that already dwells in me, untapped.
In discovering the present moment I also discovered God as I had never discovered God before. My life has never been the same.
Don’t live in the past ‘I Was’. Don’t live in the future ‘I Will Be.”
Live and be in the present moment “I Am.”
Also, special thanks to this episode’s sponsor:
Ray Boutin and Performance Realty in SE Saskatchewan.
Call or text for Ray, Jody, Chad or Tracy at area code (306) 575-8575 or Google Ray Boutin at Realtor.ca
The biggest storms in life are not always those that rage around us but those that are going on inside of us. The sad thing is that we don’t realize they’re there. We just see the surface eruptions like sadness, anger, unsettled, unconfident.
These eruptions may even be cleverly disguised as being a fun person, being driven to good things for others, humility, feeling driven to succeed and a host of other seemingly positive attributes. All good things but the motivation behind them may be skewed.
Usually, once a week, I have to clean our retreat centre. When I’m feeling lazy I look at the carpet and think it looks okay. Then I begin to vacuum. That’s when I begin to notice the dirt that’s actually on the carpet and realize that it did, in fact, need to be cleaned. I had to get up close and begin the process in order to notice it. Standing off at a distance didn’t show me anything.
When you take the time to bring your life into the quiet, that’s when you notice, when you become aware of, the issues in your life that need healing.
Thankfully, we don’t need to be the ones doing the ‘vacuuming’. God does that. We just need to bring our lives into the quiet, into the present moment and allow the healing to happen. Does it hurt emotionally? Sometimes. But, I love walking barefoot on a beautiful, soft and fully clean carpet.
Join me in today’s podcast….
Thank you to this episode’s sponsor: Ray Boutin of Performance Realty. Search for Ray Boutin on www.Realtor.ca or call or text him Jody, Chad or Tracy at area code (306) 575-8575 in South East Saskatchewan – A beautiful place to live.
I was so busy ensuring I was connected with my technologies, my apps, my phones, my computers and the overflow of my busy life that I couldn’t see the “connectedness” that would truly transform me from the inside out.
I lived on the ‘outside’ of my life and kept it shallow, at least for me.
The result was that I lived on a platform of fear, anger and anxiety, constantly putting myself down, and living out the programming I internalized from an abused childhood. I needed to undress from the clutter of the external life I had created and clothe myself in a grace that stemmed from within.
In podcast episode 47, Edrina said, “Once you get the inside right, the outside takes care of itself.” That’s the journey I’ve been on. The journey inward. Allowing myself to fall apart, to become vulnerable and powerless so I can fall back together and discover how amazing life can be. To see through a heart that is free and peaceful, no longer enslaved.
The journey to rediscover your inner and amazing self will connect you to the Divine (whom I call God), to others and to the world and the universe around you in a way you could never imagine. This connection will bring you inner peace, inner joy, inner strength.
It will root you in the present moment, removing the stress of the past and the anxiety of the future. And who doesn’t want that?
Join me in today’s 50th podcast that now spans over 42 countries…
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